Autism Spectrum Disorder

I've mentioned before that I have ASD, short for Autism Spectrum Disorder. This means that my brain is wired slightly different to other neurotypical people. With Autism, I find it more difficult to communicate and relate to others and I have sensory difficulties. Furthermore, I tend to speak about my interests instead of speaking to others about general things just for the sake of talking. I find it difficult to understand sarcasm and irony, and I sometimes struggle with taking things very literally. This could mean someone saying something along the lines of "Get off your high-horse" I'd think they meant (though I have learnt to understand these sayings over the years) to literally get off of a horse, but they really meant for me to stop behaving in a superior manner.

This leads me onto my next point, I find that having Autism communication skills have not come naturally to me, however, I've found that I can adapt. I have learnt over the years to understand sarcasm better, learn sarcastic phrases or idioms. I know when to nod during conversation and when to reply, though I still struggle sometimes, especially knowing how to start and when to end a conversation. I also tend to only be able to talk about my special interest which is horses.

Autistic people generally tend to have one special interest, this could be: horse riding, animals, trains, cuddly toys. The person may become obsessed with it as I am with horses. I read all about them, it's all I ever talk about and horses are literally my life.

I have repititions, routines and rituals. I get very attached to doing things the same way every time, I find myself upset and bothered when my routines are disrupted. Sensory difficulties include me finding it difficult to process information such as what my: eyes, ears, nose, muscles and skins are sending to the brain. When I was younger I found imaginative play very difficult too. I am what they call "hyper sensitive" which means I am highly sensitive to sounds, sights etc. There is also what they call "hypo sensitive" which is the opposite, it means under sensitive. My main difficulty is sounds, I can't stand loud noises such as fire alarms or babies crying. I also find other noises soothing though too. Because I am hypo sensitive, it means that I'm often over-stimulated and am prone to having autistic meltdowns. These are very different to tantrums as they are not behavioral and I find myself unable to control what I am doing whilst having a meltdown.

I generally find concentrating very difficult, usually I seem quite aloof to others but it's simply because I am too distracted by my senses and what is going on around me. I tend to find myself in my own world, trying to cope with all these noises and sensory triggers that I encounter. Reading facial expressions, body language and tone of voice can sometimes be confusing though I have gotten much better at it, it doesn't not come naturally though, I have taught myself how to do this. Others may also not understand people who have a different perception to them too and are not very good at "social imagination" so they may not understand for example why they are crying at an advert on TV or things like that.

Many people believe that autistic's lack empathy but this is definitely not the case as I, myself, know that I do feel empathy for others. I just simply don't know how to respond or react to how others are feeling which overwhelms me. I do care about other people and I feel for them but I just don't know what to do when someone is for example, crying and feeling upset.

Overall, life can be generally very difficult but over the years I have managed to learn and cope with life. I have learnt that self-regulation or self-soothing is very useful. I will write a separate post on self-soothing to explain it in further detail.

"I am in charge of how I feel today and today I choose happiness."

Stay strong fighters x